My week has been..........ok I guess. The only twins I know that are my friends have been feeding me silly. I’ve had the house to my self for a couple of days now (and it feels sooooo good). Not that I don’t like my flat mate, but for once, I want to feel like “YES” this is my space.....you know what I mean?
Anyway, I had fever, then cold, then runny stomach ( from eating roadside food) and back to cold again. It’s been raining non stop for a couple of days now, and my body ain’t finding it funny. But we getting by though. Been taking tea as if I am in 🇨🇦. ( maybe I am (looking outside) but just not getting the vibe of it) I went to church, service wasn’t bad, I just slept half of the time.
My knight in........that’s old fairy tale shit. This guy I like has been spoiling me bad, from accommodation to feeding to getting me something to pass time with, and just few days ago, A phone. I am greatful. It’s been rocky but we pushing through.
Letting go without closure isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I try as much as possible to move on, but when I look at my boy and see how happy he is seeing other kids,I hope he gets to forgive me for not letting him know he has two elder sibling he can look up to. I hope his elder ones forgive me as well for not letting them take care of their baby brother. But then everything is not blue and black.........there is always the fifty shades of gray. If it was that easy, I would move mountain to make it happen.
Dear blogger, why can’t everything be as it should? Why do people need to put other people down to feel good? Why is there a good and a bad, why don’t everything just be good?
I look at my kid/kids and I know for a fact they are not mistakes, but why it feel like I made a mistake somewhere is what I do not understand.
I have many many unanswered questions. I have many unsheed tears, but each day I wake up to be strong for my child. I just hope am doing the right thing.
Till next time.
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